I'm Truly An Idiot

I can't believe I was stupid enough to actually buy anything you said. No wait, I can believe it because I'm that desparate to be loved. Will I never learn??? Obviously not.

You only want me when I'm not available, or when I have something you want, specifically my fuck holes, and I'm stupid enough to give them to you willingly.

The thing is I have no one to blame but myself. I knew you would never treat me the way you said you would. They were all empty words and promises to be able to have control over me again, and I let you have it. I am so truly mad at myself for repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I am such a bloody emotional masochist.

I don't want to be this pathetic and weak anymore. I don't want to keep giving someone else the power over my heart. I have to stop. I have to be strong and walk away. I have to accpet that actually being alone is better than feeling alone when in the arms of someone who says he loves you because deep down you know, he doesn't.

Shake It Out - Florence And The Machine

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

All of these questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it up, shake it out, shake it up, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it up, shake it out, shake it up, shake it out, ooh woaaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
Oh woah, oh woah...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh woah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh woah