I'm Truly An Idiot

I can't believe I was stupid enough to actually buy anything you said. No wait, I can believe it because I'm that desparate to be loved. Will I never learn??? Obviously not.

You only want me when I'm not available, or when I have something you want, specifically my fuck holes, and I'm stupid enough to give them to you willingly.

The thing is I have no one to blame but myself. I knew you would never treat me the way you said you would. They were all empty words and promises to be able to have control over me again, and I let you have it. I am so truly mad at myself for repeating the same mistakes over and over again. I am such a bloody emotional masochist.

I don't want to be this pathetic and weak anymore. I don't want to keep giving someone else the power over my heart. I have to stop. I have to be strong and walk away. I have to accpet that actually being alone is better than feeling alone when in the arms of someone who says he loves you because deep down you know, he doesn't.