No One's Anything

I loved you so much. You were all I wanted, but I could never have you. For years, I waited, I tried, I changed and it was all for not. You wouldn't let me in; I couldn't penetrate those double re-enforced walls of yours. I just wanted you to see me, to love me, to be special. You always had to keep me just out of reach though. I craved intimacy with you, but it was always asking too much. So, after years of playing games that I didn't know the rules to, I said I couldn't do it anymore. Even though I know it was the right thing to do for my salvation, I feel worse. All I do is think of you and miss you. To desire your touch, your kiss. Instead, all I have are my sadness and tears to keep me company.

Slowly, you cut me out of your life piece by piece like I never mattered. Like everything we ever shared meant nothing. Seeing you the other day killed me inside. You remain stoic and show no emotion, saying you're dealing with it in your own way. Here I am falling apart and it seems to be like any other day for you. I don't understand, and I guess I never will.

I guess in the end, I just want to know I mattered, that I made you happy and that I made a difference in your life, if only for a little while. I want to know that I will not be forgotten and that when remembered, a smile would come to your lips. I want to know that your heart is broken too, and that you miss me as much as I miss you.