Change

I am so terrified and so full of doubt within myself. Everything feels so rocky and unstable, like the ground is going to give way under my feet. I know I should be excited about starting something new, and I am, but right now all I feel is crippling fear. I keep thinking of all the mistakes I've made, of how I could have, should have done things better.

I'm full of anxiety and keep having small panic attacks. My stomach is in knots, my mind forever full of worst case scenarios, I do nothing but hide in bed too afraid to face the world. I'm alone, and want nothing more than to have someone hold me, stroke my hair, and tell me that everything will be okay. I want, no need, someone to believe in me, so that I can start believing in myself.