"Your Passion for Life Should be Used as Your Fuel"

They say life is what happens when you're busy making other plans, and I believe this to be true. It's amazing how much can change in a year, including ourselves. My plan then was to attend university and get a degree in Social Work, I lived with family and worked part time so I could accomplish that goal. In that time, I fell in love with a man who made me laugh and felt like home. In the past six months, I found myself single again and successfully completed my first year of university with honours. My relationship with my family was falling back into old patterns of narcissistic emotional abuse and feelings of worthlessness. Life became chaotic and uncertain and I was clinging to negative energies in my life that kept bringing me down further. 

Once I finished my first year at school, I was lucky enough to be offered a full time position at the community centre where I completed my practicum. I found happiness, fulfillment, and passion in my work despite my support systems collapsing all around me. In that time, I remained determined that I would return to full time studies in the fall because I was worried about time. Things went to shit, and I was left with 2 choices: go to school full time, but live in a negative environment that would continue to damage me mentally and emotionally, or work full time and go to school part time which would allow me to live on my own again, but would extend the years I would have to spend in university. I struggled with the decision, mostly battling myself. Do I be the dutiful daughter and give up my needs for another, or do I give myself the freedom to live life by my own rules? 

In the end, I chose my freedom, despite the extended time it would take to complete my education. It hasn't been easy, and I'm constantly reminded of how displeased others are with my choice and how much I let them down. The wonderful thing is, that for the first time in a long time, I don't care because I did what was currently best for me. Every day I am grateful for putting myself first and the peace it has given me. I started down one path, and forked off onto another. Although the destination is still the same, my current journey is better than what I had originally planned. 

'Life is a Highway' Tom Cochrane