Bring on the Pain

The beginning of a new year; a fresh page, a blank slate, endless possibilities; but all I feel is sadness and regret. I wish I could see it as an opportunity to start fresh, but I'm too much of a realist for all that. I rang in my new year next to someone and felt so completely alone. 'Happy New Year's I guess' was all that was spoken to me ten minutes after the clock struck midnight, and no kiss or hug to celebrate the birth of another year. I would think anyone would be pessimistic of the coming year with that sort of start.

The positive thing to come of it is that for the first time in my life, I actually believe I deserve better. I will not make any New Year's resolutions or subscribe to any of that garbage. I will however continue to live my life the best I can, the best I know how. I will continue to reflect on my actions, relationships, behaviours, and try to make better decisions to better myself in the future. I mean, it's all anyone can do, really.

So I guess we'll wait to see what sort of growing pains 2010 will bring and what I'll learn about myself during the next 365 days.