'Longing'

Sadness, emptiness, and just overall melancholy. I hate when I get like this. What I wouldn't give to have someone just to sit with and hold me. The loneliness just gets so unbearable sometimes.

I miss having someone to talk too when I feel this way. One would think the older we got, the more people we would have in our lives, but it is the complete opposite. Every year, the numbers become smaller and smaller and I didn't have that many close friends to begin with. It feels like everyone is moving forward with their lives, and I'm still exactly where I was. I'm happy to see the ones I love move on and live their dreams, I just wish I had some of my own.

I can understand why people have children; it's almost like an insurance plan that you will never be alone, but I know that isn't true. I've seen what happens when children abandon their parents, and the kind of pain that it causes. To give birth, raise, love, and sacrifice everything for your children and to have them purposely act as though you don't exist; I imagine that is one of the most painful things a person can experience.

In the end, I just miss having a friend. I know I will always have my family, and that counts for something, but I could never go to them when I feel this way. I just wonder if I will ever have someone who accepts me as I am; flaws and all?